End of a crude graffiti crew
Stockton taggers inspire wild burst of imagination


January 06, 2007 6:00 AM
I wondered why there weren't more letters expressing outrage about the "FYM" taggers profiled in The Record on Dec. 15 ("Brazen graffiti at rush hour").

Are people just numb and resigned to letting these vandals redecorate our city?

On New Year's Eve, I dreamed I was visited by the Ghost of New Year's Future.

I woke up with a Record news article from Dec. 31, 2016, burned in my brain.

"NEW YORK - Vandals and slackers mourned the untimely death of Hesh, credited with making "f—- your mom" a household phrase.

"He was climbing the Freedom Tower in New York in an attempt to tag it with his latest creation when he was shot by Homeland Security helicopters.

"Hesh first came to prominence in late 2006 when The (Stockton) Record ran an article describing how he and other members of his crew ('Meze' and 'Barf') were tagging the town with their obscene phrase.

"Instead of sparking outrage, their signature expression soon became a normal part of everyday speech. It even replaced the old sneeze retort, 'Bless you.'

"The crew became folk heroes, appearing on 'The Tonight Show,' and their slogan started appearing on everything from T-shirts to baby food.

"Hesh became alarmed that others were profiting from his artistic creation and retained attorneys to protect his rights.

"Court documents reveal that Meze and Barf negotiated deals behind Hesh's back.

"Hesh won a large settlement but was left penniless after paying legal fees.

"When asked for his reaction, Hesh put down his paint can long enough to say, 'This is wrong, man. FYM was my creation, and now it's being desecrated,' as he tagged the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Hesh renounced his vulgar ways, found the Lord and began tagging with the phrase, 'Repent or Be Brutally, Eternally, Damned.'

"It was apparent he still held some bitterness, as the acronym for his phrase was ROBBED.

"Life was no better for other members of the crew. Meze has been permanently disabled, unable to sit or stand, after suffering a brutal spanking delivered by his mom.

"She was acquitted of all charges and given a large cash award from the World Headquarters of Organizations Promoting Paddling and Severe Spanking.

"Barf suffered permanent brain damage from inhaling paint fumes. He's a resident of a nursing home, where one of his caretakers was convicted of fraud for selling vials of Barf's Barf.

"Services for Hesh will be held in Stockton, attended by 37 lawyers.

Said a spokesperson for the law firm, 'We are filing a $95 trillion class-action suit against society,' which we hold responsible for Hesh's life and death.

"Society is expected to settle."

Jim Cheshire
Stockton